So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
