I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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