So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
