You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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