I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I am available for nakedness
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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