If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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