dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
