Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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