My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
