You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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