That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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