I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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