At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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