Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If I die, sorry about rent.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
