At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
