Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
