Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
