okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
