you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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