Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
