Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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