Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize