The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
