"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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