there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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