Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
