So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
