What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize