I could have mohawked her pubes.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We are two peas in an std pod
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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