we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
