I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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