Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize