It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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