I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
