sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Randomize
