So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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