He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Even my vagina gasped.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
