I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
