I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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