i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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