Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
