they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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