"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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