sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
