Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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