Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
