When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
