She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
