I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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