Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
