$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
