Pass out mid-funnel last night.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
