so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
it's great music for shaving your balls
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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