Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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