I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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