whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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