Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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