I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
