The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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