oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
