I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
