She is in my trunk
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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