Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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